Menswear: To crop or not to crop?

Do you know what really grinds my gears?

The fragile male ego.

I read this book, A Little History of the World by E.H. Gombrich (AMAZING. HIGHLY RECOMMEND - even though its kind of sad because its about humans and they kind of suck, and I'm kind of one of them. But if you're NOT a human then you're really going to love it!) , and as he chronicles the course of human history, there is one common thread that precedes any war- some dude has to prove that he is more manly than every other preceding dude in history, and must do so by all but literally burning everything the human race had learned until that point to the ground. No no, seriously, its like a ~thing~. All of it, burned.

Im talking art, literature, architecture, medical advancements, anything and everything. It was a veritable cultural bonfire every regime change (these have since been replaced by the cultural bonfires that air weeknights on Bravo). I appropriately gendered this article toward specifically the male ego, and not the female ego, not for lack of the latter, but rather, due to the dearth of historical atrocities at the hands of a woman scorned. Its almost as if *gasp*.....no...it can't be....can....can women possibly be genetically predisposed to have superior capacities for empathy and thusly make better leaders than men? This 2015 study  by John G. Vongas and  Raghid Al Hajj (and like 1,000+ others) certainly seem to think so. But They don't want you to read facts. 

It was somewhere around the fin-de-siècle that we collectively decided that perhaps the best way to advance the human race would be to learn from our history, rather than roasting marshmallows over it. So with no more setting the world ablaze, just how did the male ego find its bloodthirsty outlet? AH-HA now thats where the men's crop top comes in....

 

JAAAYYYYYYYDDDEEEENNNNNNNNNNNN

 

Ok well there maaayyyyy have been some other minor, lesser milestones between our turn of the century collective intellectual renaissance and the question of the mens crop, but this is a fashion blog and I could really start to get long-winded. YES I SAID START, I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS OK. 

Lets start where it REALLY matters. And thats in the 4inch space comprising the exposed midsection of Johnny Depp in the 80's cult classic Nightmare on Elm Street. The mens crops came out of the gym in the 70's and burst into the zeitgeist as a possibility for men everywhere. There must have been chaos in the streets that day. 

Even as we proceed in the 90's and maaaaaybe even the early 2000's the mens crop held a place in every guys closet. But then...DUN DUN DUN...something changed!

Thaaaat's right. The male ego reared its ugly head. With shows like Will & Grace and Queer as Folk portraying LGBT individuals as just like, regular fucking people, that like, live and work amongst the masses, heterosexual men had to find a way to distinguish themselves from the bunch. 

This meant bye bye lower abdominals! See ya later displays of emotion! SO LONG SMILING! Ok, we've gone off track. 

 
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I don't mean to harp on the great loss we've all suffered by not being able to look at every mo, dick, and harry, bare their hairy midsections to the world. Ya know, given the panoply of other horrors that the cis gendered straight male has inflicted on society - gender based pay inequality, the need for a #MeToo movement, white socks with brown dress shoes -  but when something is on my mind I've got to get to the bottom of it. 

Its 2018, and I think all of the straight men reading this blog post right now - all 1 of you - need look no further than this sports person below (y'all like sports right? thats still a thing yes?)  to show you that ITS OK TO CROP. Mark Walhberg did it, Kid Cudi is doing it, and please don't ask me for any more examples like, enough, ok, its not that serious.

Now break out those scissors and all of those t-shirts from college that you probably need to throw away anyway, and LIBERATE YOURSELF. I believe in you, and so does sports person Ezekiel Elliott who maybe took it a step too far above. 

I dont think anyone is ready for the cropped mens button down.