Rih told you that she was a SAVAGE (x Fenty)

*The sounds of girls bank accounts around the world being emptied* 



Some indeterminate number of weeks ago (I'VE BEEN BUSY OOOKKAAAY) Rihanna dropped her lingerie and intimates line “SAVAGE X Fenty", and got one step closer to total. internet. domination. 


Like who remembers Pon de Replay? who could have seen this coming? WAIT…WHO REMEMBERS THIS 2005 TRIBUTE TO DESTINYS CHILD

No shade- like for reeeeeaaaal- but between Amerie, Tierra Marie, and Rihanna...who would have pegged Robyn after that performance, to be the star she is today? 

My money would have been on Amerie,


I guess


just had


one thing.

(I had to do it.)


ANYWAY I digress. We're here to talk about the SAVAGE collection, and in talking about the collection, we ultimately, as with all things, will get back around to talking about me. 

I’ll be honest, when Rih signed up as creative director for Puma in 2014 I was a little confused— what was Puma? I thought that was a jungle cat? Has Rihanna gotten into Zoology? 

All valid concerns. 

However, after asking a couple west African grad students, whom I'd bumped into on the bus, about what this word ‘puma’ that was spelled out on their overstuffed messenger bags and emblazoned on their leather sandals, I realized it was a fashion brand. 

Two fútbol matches on ‘ESPNCentralAmerica’ later and I was basically an expert on the brands history. I jest I jest of courseI don't watch sports, I’m gay duh— but in my own personal experience of the fashion conversation Puma hadn't been a topic of discussion in yeeaarrrsssss. Unless of course you were standing on Eastern Parkway, but ya know, before the white people got to it #notallwhitepeoplelmaooo. 

Enter our Barbadian savior. 

This is the thing though. Knowing how to dress yourself is not exactly the same thing as knowing how to design a line of clothing.

**this is where I’m coughing under my breath and saying Virgil Abloh**

ALAS, Puma x Fenty has been a fairly large success story, especially in the realm of celebrity run fashion lines that aren't sold at Kmart. So, with the RTW and streetwear markets solidly conquered, and with Slickwoods needing to stay employed, Rihanna took us to the ~boudoir~ with her latest endeavor. 

The pieces are sexy.  
Tantalizing, without being gimmicky, and cool enough for Fashion Nova to release their own watered down version of the designs, but as sheer dresses for girls in LA to wear to dinner at Nobu. 

ANYONE who knows me knoooows I love a peignoir. Theres just something about a chiffon robe with a feather trim and a train that is so glamorously impractical that it makes my little — engorged from all the McDonalds I eat — heart flutter. Thank you Rihanna for offering just what I need not only in a classic robe silhouette but also as some sort of erotically feathered sheer romper.

It will absolutely be worth the chaffing. 

Some other favorite are the stretch lace body suit with the flute sleeves, the lace teddy - because I’m also into things with garter attachments-  and omg omg omg the ruffle open cup bra that legitimately is just a web of ruffled satin into which you place your uncovered boobies. It’s all the benefits of a bra, but without any of the comfort or support. 


For the most part this collection seems like a set of lingerie designed for women, by a woman, as opposed to most lingerie that is designed for men, to be worn by women, for other men. Hence the traditionally uncomfortable fabrics, binding proportions, and —dontaskmehowiknowthis— limited sizes. The SAVAGE x Fenty collection is playful, it looks comfortable, and since its been pretty much sold out since it launched, I’d say women are liking it. 


Lastly, what I don’t want to do is go off on a whole tangent about how amazing and groundbreaking it is to see women of all shapes sizes and colors, not just in the product shots on the website, but actually in the premier global camping imagery — since that should be the standard and not the exception—hooowwweeevvvveerrrrr, its actually quite AMAZING to see so many women of color, women with body shapes that are not largely thought of as the standard of “sexiness” represented, and to see them celebrated in a way that does not seem fetishy or as a means to garner publicity. 

I really shouldn't have expected anything less from Ms. Fenty. Ugh the angel

Now when is the mens lingerie line coming out? Is mens lingerie a thing? Like is going commando is gray sweatpants the equivalent?

I need answers.